Cancer sucks.

You know me by now, I'm sure. When it's a larger project, I do a few rows at a time. I'm often interrupted when I'm knitting, usually taking care of my mother or one of the pets. I was watching 'Chocolat' with Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp the other night and got a few rows done on the vest I'm making for my mother. My goal was to get it done for her birthday, but I can already hear that deadline whistling as it sails over my head. Lately, my knitting is often more interrupted by a certain white woof, who has needed more care.

My sweet westie, Madeline Matilda, is diabetic, blind, and recently diagnosed with having an enormous, inoperable bladder tumor as well as other tumors peppering the insides of her tiny little body. She is 14 years old and one of the oldest westies our vet has ever seen, which is a wonderful thing, I suppose! =)

I can't, and won't, say no to this face!

She brings me joy, even when we are in the darkest of times. She has always been the sweetest, most friendly pup in the world. And it is my privilege to be her chosen human. She could've chosen someone else in the family, but she chose me. So my days are often spent rushing her out to pee, crouching low to the ground with a flashlight at night to make sure her urine is steady and she's not straining. There is always blood, but as long as it's not completely hemorrhagic, we are still in the clear. It is about pain management and keeping her comfy.

She is getting more spoiled now than ever! From eating what she wants at any time she wants, to the burden of being kissed and hugged and pet and brushed by her humans, this girl is lapping up the extra attention. She's always been spoiled and laden with kisses, but we are all taking the extra time with her.

She has staked out a bathroom as her own. We've put her bed in there, with sheets to keep her cool, a rolled up towel to help keep the bed bolstered so she can rest her head, and on bad days, she gets an ice pack every few hours. She also has a cooling pad that she can choose to use. It's adorable to watch her maneuver and position herself JUST SO on that ice pack .

We lost her feline sister, Mokie, this January due to cancer. She was also 14; she would've been 15 in April. I don't think I handle this very well either and am often quite on the verge of tears, but I am so thankful that she loves me, she knows she's loved, and that I got to share her life.